Author: Grethen Lewis, LCPC
At Invited, our team of expert clinicians is always scanning resources in mental health and well-being to offer you valuable skills so that you can start to feel better today. Our blog exists to save you time, and offer you valuable life skills that you can easily apply to increase your well-being. With Thanksgiving approaching, our focus today is on the transformative power of gratitude practice, one of our favorite good-mood hacks.
Why start a gratitude practice? Simply put, what we focus on expands. If we only focus on things that go wrong in life, and problems that need our attention, we will filter more problems into our perspective. Conversely, if we shift our attention to all that is good in life, we will, in turn, experience more goodness. The problem is that our nervous system is wired to help us survive, but not to thrive. From an evolutionary perspective, it is adaptive to focus only on problems and threats, so that we can, in theory, prepare for them. The problem with this survival mode is that it often disproportionately represents threats in our life, and downplays the triumphs and beauty.
Looking back on fond memories is one way to help increase our overall happiness and allow us to look for and focus on the good when it arises. This helps combat the natural tendency of our brain to focus on the negative stressors, worries or unchecked items on our to-do list. This practice also allows us to purposefully focus on what is working, and what we do have to appreciate. If we aren’t making a consistent, regular, effort to think about what we actually do want in our lives, then we are more than likely going to get side tracked into pondering what we don’t want, and we know that doesn’t feel good. Keep in mind that what we focus on will continue to show up in our awareness. In other words, energy flows where our attention goes.
What are the benefits of gratitude practice? After completing multiple variations of the 30-Day Gratitude Challenge personally, and professionally with many clients and students over the years, I’ve found this format of this exercise to be one of the most effective ways of breaking through the stress of the daily grind, and fighting through the times when we feel stuck, unmotivated, uncertain about next steps. It’s a short activity that everyone can do, and it’s not very challenging or time consuming. Over the years, clients and students have reported that daily dedication to this activity has built trust, accountability, accomplishment, and increased faith in themselves. For example, one client shared that it helped him to prioritize himself, his needs, and be clearer about his boundaries more often. When we reflect and process our feelings regularly, it becomes clearer over time which people or experiences build us up and what doesn’t.
30-Day Gratitude Challenge
We invite you to join us for our first annual 30-Day Gratitude Challenge this November. The goal of this challenge is to be a little more present and aware, to complain less, and to be a little more grateful each day. The benefits of gratitude practices are often surprisingly great, and the time investment is usually minimal. This mindful practice usually only takes a few minutes out of your day. 1. Set a daily calendar alert and a timer. Research states that, for maximum effectiveness when starting a new habit, it’s beneficial to set a calendar alert at the same time every day for the next month. Each day when you start your practice, set a timer for five minutes. Do your best to block out distractions and set your phone to Do Not Disturb. Be open to whatever feelings and emotions come up. Think of this time as yours, as a gift to honor yourself, reflect, and be present. This is time that you are investing in yourself to increase your well-being. (For more about the current research on why forming intentional habits matters, check out the book Atomic Habits by James Clear). 2. Get comfortable. Find a quiet place to relax alone. Ideally, you want to chose the same space to help prime your brain to relax and be in the zone for this experience. 3. Write down three things that you are grateful for at the start or end of your day. It’s important to save your reflections so you can refer back to them. Many people put them in a journal, or on a small piece of paper that you can fold up and place in a jar. Feel free to make this personal and be creative with colored pens or go digital using a Canva design or even a spreadsheet. Whatever way you choose to record your practice, it needs to be fun and easy, so that you can look forward to this time. 4. Create a comforting ritual around this time. It’s about creating an experience that supports you in caring for yourself. Think about adding in something simple that brings you positive feelings of peace or comfort. Ideas include a relaxing or uplifting playlist, a warm drink of tea or coffee, a comfortable blanket, wear a cozy robe, pajamas or sweatshirt, a favorite pair of socks or slippers, or other item of clothing that makes you feel good. 5. Consciously choose to let go of negativity. If it’s hard to think of something to be grateful for, that may be a sign that we must clear out the negative. Sometimes we need to release built up stressors, complaints, or worries, that are weighing us down in order to make room for something positive. To do this, use a brain dump activity to purge some of the negative thoughts you have been carrying with you. This step can greatly benefit your personal relationships because you may notice you aren’t as frustrated or short with people. You may see that your conversations and interactions with others improve because you don’t need to complain as often or lean on others to process what’s stressing you. Basically, by doing this we can become more aware and spot our daily and weekly thought patterns more clearly. This allows us to not only make more room for the good but to also become stronger, more resilient, and we learn we have the power to help ourselves come out of a challenging situation. 6. Remember that consistency is important in order to see results. If it’s hard to stay dedicated to your practice, make a shift in the time of day or way you record it, the notes or voice recording apps on your phone can work well in a pinch. To stick with your practice on the busiest of days, refocus on your goal, and the end result that you are seeking. How do you want to feel at the end of the month? Wouldn’t it be great to actually keep a promise to yourself, and to have some amount of time each day that is prioritized just for you? What should I expect at the end of 30 days? You may find that you are more open-minded and that your thoughts are more intentional as opposed to being full of to-do lists, worries, constant expectations, or only focusing on the outcome. If you do this intentional gratitude practice everyday for 30 day, you are likely to see your perspective, focus, and your mood shift to become more aware and positive. Through exercises like this, we often become better at prioritizing and scheduling in general. We are often happier when we are taking better care of ourselves. When we have a dedicated mindful practice like this, we can feel more intentional, more on purpose. When we keep a commitment to ourselves and set a regular time to reflect and be present, we start to see things from a brighter or bigger perspective. At the completion of this exercise, many clients have said that one of the most unexpected benefits was that they ended up feeling that they had more time in the day.
Final Thoughts: In closing, I would like to remind you that the goal of this practice is simply to choose different sources of gratitude to reflect on and express thanks for each day. There are many meaningful experiences that we don’t aren't consciously aware of, that are working in our favor. Your list can include people, places, goals or achievements, songs, nature and run the gamut of big and small moments that matter to you. To support you in your practice, you will find a list of ideas below to help you continue your practice and spark new ideas and reflections.
https://healthyhappyimpactful.com/things-to-be-grateful-for-list/ As always, please feel free to send us your feedback on this exercise or even attach images of what you create. We love to hear from you!
Gretchen Lewis, LCPC, is a psychotherapist at Invited Psychotherapy and Coaching, a private practice outside of Chicago, specializing in supporting high performing professionals in embodying their highest potential.
References:
Clear, James. (2018). Atomic habits: an easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones . Penguin: Avery.
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